Pete of Waterland Tubs has a great variety
of aquatic turtles. The coolest thing though is his vertical tubs (see
against back wall). Through the use of antigravity strips placed strategically
in the bottom layer of the structure, those of you with limited space
can keep an elaborate open turtle enclosure on the wall in your living
room.
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Dancing Dan Gaul, co-owner of Dandy
Screen Printing and his wife Debbie. He produced the show tee-shirt on
site from a beautiful line drawing by Roger
Hall of a Texas Horned Lizard. This special edition shirt
with green kryptonite ink was presented to me and protects against irate
vendors.
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Amanda's lecture on Dart frog husbandry
and propagation was great, but the really cool parts involved the use of
Dart frog venom by the CIA for clandestine killings by mixing it with
DMSO in order to penetrate the skin faster so it could be used in
felt-tip pens to perform sanctions. The felt-tip is mightier than the silenced 22.
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Andrew Wile smoked their skin*
*Sorry Andy, you can't sue if
it's true and the name is spelled different.
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Andrew has smoked these too. He says the
yellow ones are better.
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Strange deviant rituals abound at the
show
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This snake is so cool I almost wouldn't
mind getting bit by it.*
*Just kidding Jerry
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Eric of Zoo Books created this elaborate
display of books with inside out covers and backward displays just to
%#$* with people. I still bought a bunch of his stuff even though I have
to read it with a mirror.
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If you need a reason to buy Robert's
blown glass (snakes, lizards, frogs, turtles, etc) think of the reverse
entropy being put into these unique sculptures. The detail in these
objects carries enough potential energy (according to the 2nd law of
thermodynamics) to send a pound of carne asada into the asteroid belt.
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Kirby of Lonesome Valley Reptiles is a
top taxidermist. His dead animals go for more than the live ones.
Think of the major benefits. They look great; they don't have to be
caged or fed; they don't bite. I'm thinking of giving up the live stuff.
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Red-foot Tortoises are very popular with young
girls that wear red lipstick
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Loran and his crew from LLL Reptiles are
newcomers to the Tucson Reptile Show. I had some great lines thought out
but will let the roasting slide for the first year.
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Being a reptile show promoter
attracts a lot herp groupies. I was beating them off with a stick all
weekend.
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Mommy! I want the dinosaur! I'm not going
home without the dinosaur! Billy's trying to hurt the dinosaur! Ahh,
ahh, ahh.
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Cool stuff, everything glowed in the
dark. Including the display, animals, products and purple shirt. If you
tap three times on the second scorpion on the curtain you enter a back
entrance to Diagon Alley. There you can buy a caldron to mix the ground scorpion
tails with hognose snake fangs and jimson weed to make sales potion. Now
you know how some vendors seem to always do well.
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Hognose snakes are venomous (toxic via
injecting a venom with a delivery system such as fangs), not poisonous
(toxic when ingested) and therefore not particularly dangerous to
ingest. However, why Susan is munching freeze dried hognose snakes is
completely unknown, unless, see previous frame.
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Though her fangs are shorter, Billie has
a verbal strike just as fast and deadly as the Gabon Viper below. Don't
mess with Billie.
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The Phoenix Herpetological Society
trailer was so packed with reptiles that they had to register with the
county Bar Association. Isn't it interesting that the thing that lawyers
have to pass and that people get drunk at are called the same thing.
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Gabon Viper, known to travel with the
Phoenix Herpetological Society.
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Ronald of Rocking 'J' Leather. I hear
he's into leather.
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My son Ryan and daughter Mia (white
reptile show tee-shirts) did a good job selling Snakes & Jewelry,
but due to the economic times we had a lot of snakes left over. So I
broke out one of my favorite books, The Culinary Herpetologist, by Ernie
Liner and made a huge mess of flash fried Thayeri (page 353).
It's amazing what a poor economy can do for adventuresome taste buds.
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Keith (above left) brought me a bag of Mazuri
Tortoise Chow. I've tried to get my leopard tortoises to eat the stuff.
Tried mixing it with their favorite foods, not feeding them for days,
rubbing it in their faces. Nothing seems to work. If anyone out there
has a suggestion, please let me know. Email
Mark
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Megan of Tropical Kingdom holding the
rarest snake in the world, The Irish Python.
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Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap
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The Reptiles Magazine was selling two for
one subscriptions and did well. Obviously a lot of people in Tucson
don't have computers.*
* Just kidding, I get it too
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Aaron is into Cockroaches in a big way.
Need I say more?
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I wrote a summery of events that took
place at the end of the show involving Chris (Krazy '8 Invertebrates) and I. See below.
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Mark
watched the Death-Stalker through the viewfinder of his Cannon as it
trampled around its dirt bottomed deli-cup. Despite the thing being the
size of his thumb, the scorpion’s bulbous stinger contained venom
twenty-five times as toxic as a diamondback’s. He looked up at Chris,
who had carefully untaped and removed the cup’s lid to allow the
photo-op and raised his left eyebrow. They’d
been good friends for years so the gesture carried a picture’s worth
of meaning. Chris shrugged his shoulders, saying that, yah, you’d have
to be an idiot to keep these fellows as pets. They both looked down just
in time to see a translucent yellow tail disappear between two
adjacent eight-ounce deli-cups.
Chris
shot forward gingerly pulling away cups two and three at a time, a pair
of forceps materializing in his right hand. Mark jumped backward bumping into a Styrofoam box full of lizards. A small woman who’d been
walking toward the exit of the now closed Reptile Show bent to the floor
in front of them and arose with the Death-Stalker in the palm of her
hand. “This what you guys looking for?” Mark and Chris stared at
her, the long forceps tumbling from Chris’s right hand.
She
looked at them quizzically, “don’t worry, I’ve held scorpions
before.” Then she said, “ouch.” Before either guy could utter a
word her eyes rolled up in their sockets and she fell backwards with a
loud thunk as her head struck the cement. Her long black hair sprawled
around her head like an Ikebana arrangement.
Mark looked around, there was no one else in the
area. He took her hand, no pulse, she wasn’t breathing. As the
promoter of the show he figured he was screwed. Chris had retrieved the
scorpion with his forceps and had placed it back in its deli-cup. They
looked at each other both unable to swallow and Chris mumbled something
about cops. Mark knelt back to the floor and with a grunt, slid the body
under the draped display table and said: “no cops, Honey hasn’t
eaten in a month.”
They moved her in a red wagon concealed with blue
satin table covers and hefted her into Honey’s cage. Mark’s 19 foot
Reticulated Python began flicking her tongue in interest.
A few weeks later, over breakfast at Denny’s, Mark
noticed the Black haired woman’s picture on a milk carton. He pushed
the horror that welled up into a small cranny of the lower reptilian
part of his brain and smiled at his eleven year old daughter encouraging
her to finish her scrambled eggs.
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Silly religious metaphors just breed at
reptile shows. Hint: Snakes & tortoises are in the same Linnaean class.
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Mrs. World holding my snake. Note that
last year I only had Miss Arizona. Notice that I'm moving up in the
world (I've always liked older woman).
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What is the true subject of this picture?
Hint: by definition, reptiles don't have them.
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Thanks to many years of keeping snakes
and lizard, Tommy can now track deer and elk by rapid tongue flicking.
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Future road runners. Can't wait to cruise
down Southern Texas back roads.
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You can get your spouse to except your
reptiles by starting with reptile jewelry.
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Tuesday is gentle with kids but loves to
snack on malpractice and personal injury attorneys.
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Philippe de Vosjoli, one the true innovators
of herpetoculture (I think he even coined the word), but the coolest
thing about him is his name. de Vosjoli, de Vosjoli, de Vosjoli.
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The evolution of Nikki:
2006
2007
2008
(mommy 2009)
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I somehow missed getting a picture of the
Reptile Depot guys this year, so I had to grab one from years past. This
is Steve from before he went gray.
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Paul & Jill, newlyweds, decided to
spend their honeymoon at the Tucson Reptile & Amphibian Show &
Sale. Jill is holding their newborn: Cornelius. Yes, I'm afraid they had
to get married. If only they had something like traffic school to teach
young couples the use of condoms, etc.
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Frank, attempting to impress a human
female by comparing parts of his anatomy to steel support structures of
the Expo Center.
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David does not need to compare himself to
steel beams. Steel beams should be comparing themselves to him.
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Kids and woman love the feel of the Taiwan
Beauty Snake.
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Ryan & Bob of the Painted Python
spend hours and hours painting their ball pythons to achieve the ultimate
in designer ball pythons. I've got a Calder and a Velázquez that I just
treasure.
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James has been breeding a new line of
Blue Tongue Skinks that will soon solve the world's fresh water crisis. As
blue tongues live in a very arid environment, you would expect them to
be good at finding water. These Northern Blue Tongues have been selectively
bred to point their tail at sources of fresh water. As you can see this
skink is pointing directly at James's full bladder. Bio tech is amazing.
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Dale of Recycled Road-Kill is talking
politics. Each empty wallet represents are economic future under either
a democratic or republican administration.
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Deana sold out of stuffed reptiles. It's
the economy stupid! You don't have to cage, feed or cleanup after a
cotton snake.
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Same with reptile jewelry
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Jared thought about the jewelry business,
but the name was already taken.
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I think your less likely to be robbed
with one of these in your yard than a Pit Bull. Monitors don't bark and
see how gentle they are with kids.
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Now this is a cool playpen.
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Baby Sidewinders are so cute.
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The Arizona Herpetological Association
brought a great display local fauna with at least a dozen species of
Rattlesnakes, including some one of a kind morphs.
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Luman of Jeff Luman Reptiles waits patiently
while a potential costumer uses his cell phone to consult his financial
planner on a Ball Python purchase.
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Banded Rock Rattlesnake
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Massasauga
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Robert dresses like a reduced red Alterna,
how much more into it can you be. Ramona puts up with it.
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I'm glad my mom didn't keep me in chains.
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These are the kind of looks people throw
at me. I don't get it.
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Again
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And again
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And again
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Young, uncaged*
*Sorry, inside
joke. You see his name is Young Cage. Sorry it's late.
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The shirt says 'Reptile Geeks Dot Com.
Need I say more.
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Dustin and Mika were instrumental in the
skink display
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Dr. Funk waiting for a tip.
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Fortunately Josh of Marki Reptiles was a
boy scout. Asian Rat snakes have this strange tendency to tie themselves in
knots. This one appears to have accomplished a bowline.
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Don & Angel of DNA Snakes have
achieved amazing results with their genetic manipulations. They have a
line of Kingsnakes that eats lettuce and a Cornsnake with legs that they
have named: lizard.
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SED Reptiles is run by 'Squeaky' a pleasant
Crested Gecko seen sitting in the palm of his pet human that he calls
Scott. When asked if he would sell Scott, Squeaky replied that he was
not for sale, he's grown quite attached to Scott and likes to show him
off at parties and shows.
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Nicole of Reptile Image talking to no one
in particular.
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Bruce is the retired head of Arizona Game
& Fish. He had some great reptile pictures. My wife though, comes
home with one of his bird pictures.
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Robert has, in very un-reptile like fashion,
grown a cool pony-tail. I know for fact that this is not a rehab tail,
but it could be the root of his speaking ability (kinda like Sampson). His talks at the show
started great and just get better and better. Don't cut the hair.
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David was in charge of exit security at
the show. I wouldn't mess with him. Don't tell anyone that he's a
mellow, cool guy.
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I thought Russell & Karen of Red rock
Reptiles only sold snakes. But they had all sorts of weird mystical
stuff from Sedona. like this one of a kind Beta-max tape of humping Tuataras
from New Zealand.
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Michele is one of those hot waitresses
from Hooters (or is it Famous Sam's). Anyway we hired her away to add
some spice to the show front entrance and to sing and dance at the
after-party.
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Zack was voted best worker at the show
and is destined for greatness in the Business world. Cindy who has run
the admission tables at the show for our entire seven years has been
mentally undressed by several thousand herper guys during that time.
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This is Jungle Carpet Python bred by
Tommy who acquired his breeding stock from me. I got mine (I haven't
kept any in years) from a guy named Brad who got his from Gary (San
Diego Reptile Breeders). It's the circle of life*
*The Lion King
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If you buy a cute little 2 inch Sulcata
and feed it properly, here is what you'll have ten years down the line.
The top section can be prevented by rubbers.
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This is not a nice friendly alligator
that played with kids all day at the show. This is a Nile Croc that
thinks of people the way we think of Big Mac's. Notice my blood on its snout.
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Julie of Chamo Wear Inc. brought cool
clothing from the land of our new President (Chicago). I got my 'Reptile
Dysfunction' shirt early, before she sold out.
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Matthew and Christina of My Herp Hobby
were one of three vendors from New Mexico. This year we had vendors from
five states. We've had as many as eight states represented in the past
and that doesn't include some very bizarre mental states that have
attended the show.
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Another one of Don's genetically altered Kingsnakes.
This variety spells out words so kids can learn to read when they play
with snakes. I see a 'd' and an 'n' and an I.
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Hannah and kid prove that there is no
reptile dysfunction (RD) going on in her household.
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I think Christina is trying to tell me
something with the hands on hip thing. I've got a book on body language
somewhere. I'll look it up.
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Caught red handed with his hand in the
turtle jar.
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Most intellectual looking vendor at the
show (except for me). I think it's the glasses.
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Whoa. Even the Geico Gecko doesn't make
this much.
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Piebald Ball pythons are the coolest
snake around for two grand.
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Guess the Identity of this Tucson Herper
(the one with his back to you) and win a free pass to next years Show. Limited to the first 5 correct
answers. (One correct answer so far, 11/18/08) Email Mark
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Because Christian allows me to use
multiple photos of his beautiful wife, Nikki, on the website without
beating me up I will refrain from any sarcastic comments, well, unless I
think of a good one.
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Great photo of an Irian Jaya Carpet
Python and former porn star Dirk Diamond
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